I envy simple people

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to wake up one morning and accept the routine completely. Without having so much as a thought of an exciting moment in the entire day. My whole body, mind and soul devoted to getting through a day that looks just like yesterday, and the day before and the day before that.

But this almost never happens. I wake up wanting more to the day than there already is.

Maybe, just maybe I’ll hit the jackpot today (all the time knowing this is never going to happen), maybe today pizzahut will announce a 3$ large pizza (one time offer only), what about that sale in forever 21? Do they have their summer dresses on sale yet?, how about Victoria’s Secret? Have they realized that normal people wear lingerie too? Not just size zero skinny rich blond girls, what if Reuters/Bloomberg calls me to anchor/report for their prime time show?

But it’s the same story everyday. None of the above mentioned more than pleasant thoughts have ever become reality. Ever. Yet, I never stop hoping. With great difficulty i’ve accepted the fact that I’m an extremely complex intellectual individual.

And that’s the reason I envy simple people. Here’s why their life is so much better than mine.

  1. They obey the alarm clock. They are not making up intricate excuses in a half asleep state as they snooze the clock for the seventh time. They prefer to give up on the five and half minutes of sleep rather than devise imaginative stories. 
  2. Their aspirations are limited to making it in time for the 7:45 am subway or local train.
  3. While on the train, they catch up on their sleep or read the horoscopic predictions for the day. Unlike me, who’d engage in silly, yet extremely interesting activities such as observe people, over hear conversation, stoop over somebody’s shoulder to read a text conversation, stare at the lady who just got in wearing a fabulous outfit, wonder what my BFF is doing at this hour, wondering which bagel to pick up, deciding whether to get a coffee or a hot chocolate etc. etc.
  4. As I get out of the station, I dig my head deep in to a magazine I carry only as cover, in order to avoid a five minute long awkward conversation with an acquaintance you bump in to at crowded stations. On the other hand, a simple person will look for people to chat with. They always remember mundane details such as your children’s names, your pets name, your wives maiden name and the last time you were seen with a controversial person. Simple people remember a lot of details.
  5. Lunch is the same everyday. So is dinner. Nothing really excites them. Nor does it disappoint them.
  6. Routine is their lifeline.
  7. ‘70% off’ doesn’t mean anything to them.
  8. Texting is almost never indulged in.
  9. They do however have a sly presence on Facebook. FB brings out that quality in almost everybody.
  10. They never stand out in the crowd. In fact they are the crowd.
  11. The way they dress hasn’t changed in like a decade.
  12. They also pray to like a million gods.
  13. They make friends easily. However, not everyone is really their friend. Because they are uncomplicated, they cannot imagine the possibility of someone having a life other than the one they lead.
  14. They rarely have a life outside their routine.
  15. They go to their grandma’s house for a vacation.
  16. Their kids have nick names similar to their neighbors kids.
  17. Their conversations are often about other people, groceries and bollywood. News doesn’t interest them, nation and international issues don’t concern them, anything remotely intellectual is miles away from them.
  18. They judge you. And oh my god how. You will never be good enough for them. Your bohemian lifestyle bothers them. It doesn’t make an iota of difference to you.
  19. Sarcasm is past their mental capacity.
  20. Life is a joyride.

I can go on and on. But I just want to reiterate that I really do envy them. Simple living, very little thinking.

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